Don't Leave Me (Shizaya fanfic)
by ShizayaLove
Summary: Izaya is done with life. Humanity hates him, Shizuo hates him, everybody hates him. What does he have to live for? When he finally builds up the courage to end it, he is found by Shinra and saved. Unfortunately, he needs someone to live with him for at least a month. What happens when the only person who can stay with him, is Shizuo Heiwajima?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, this is my first fanfic on here! I'm really excited! I've shipped Shizaya for what feels like forever, and I can't wait to continue this! I'm sorry this is so short, but I am not done yet! I'm working on the next one right now! Alright, enjoy the story!**

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Izaya smiled emptily as he looked down at his hands, wet with blood. It seemed as if all the blood in the world could come from his wrists, running from the cuts and onto the ground of the alley. Finally. He could leave. He could stop causing pain to everyone.

In the back of his mind, he could hear a little voice screaming, _No! No! Stop this!_ But he ignored it. He could also feel the growing fear resting in the back of his cranium, fear of becoming nothing. He ignored it too, and flicked open his blade once more, laying another cut onto his arm. Each slice was a shock to his system, letting him know that he was still human, and he relished the feeling.

He wondered vaguely if this would hurt anyone, but the thought was quickly banished from his brain. This would be better. He couldn't help but think about Shizuo. He would probably be happy, excited that the flea was gone. He would probably think that he won the game.

But he didn't. He wasn't the one that killed him. Izaya killed himself. So he won.

He laughed deliriously. "I won, I won," He babbled. "I beat Shizu-Chan! I beat Shizu-Chan!" He heard footsteps walk past his little hideaway as he cut himself again. And again. And again.

"Izaya?!" It was Shinra. Izaya grinned at him. "I won." He said triumphantly. "I won the game." He heard the footsteps run towards him, and felt Shinra's warm hands seize his own. "I won."

"Izaya, what are you doing?!" He cried, grabbing the raven-haired 23-year-old and hefting him up, looping his arm over his shoulder. Izaya flicked out his blade, and tried to get the bloody knife to his wrist once more, straining for it. Shinra grabbed him.

"Izaya, stop!" It was like he had come out of a trance. He stopped. He blinked. He looked at his hands, just to see the shining, red liquid covering them.

"What…?" He whispered. "It-I….I don't want to die. I don't want to die, Shinra." He blinked rapidly as he filled with self-loathing. He had tried to kill himself. He had tried to kill himself.

"That's right Izaya, you _don't want to die_. Keep saying that, don't stop!" Shinra said frantically, practically dragging the boy to his lab.

"I don't-I don't want-" Izaya blubbered, tears flowing now. He felt really tired. He wanted to take a nap. He was exhausted.

"I'm tired." He yawned. He slowly started to close his eyes.

"Izaya?! Izaya?! Stay with me! Celty! _Celty!"_

Izaya could hear the black bicycle ride up beside him, but he was fading away, too tired to even care.

"Goodnight Shinra.." He said softly.

"No. NO!" He was on the bike now. He could feel it. He didn't want to die. _I don't want to die_.

But he was fading away.


	2. Chapter 2

Izaya woke to an excruciating headache and the beep of hospital machines. He blearily opened his eyes, the first thing they landed on, his wrists. They were bandaged heavily, and he knew they would be scarred when he took them off. The second thing he noticed, was that they were strapped down, and so were his ankles. He couldn't move.

"Izaya?" His head snapped forward, only to see Shinra, staring at him with a concerned expression, and leaning against the doorway.

"Unlock me." Izaya growled, struggling weakly against the straps. Shinra shook his head and walked towards him, stopping beside his bed.

"If I do, will you try to run?"

Izaya fell silent, knowing that was exactly what he would do. "Leave me alone." He said quietly. _Don't leave me._

"I will. But first I have to take some tests."

"Don't come near me!" Izaya started to struggle as Shinra started towards him, holding a syringe. _Yes. Come near me._

"Come on Izaya. You know that I need to. You don't want to die, do you?"

Izaya froze, tensing up. _I don't want to die._

"H-How do you know that?" He asked, trying desperately to put on his usual smirk. "Maybe I do."

Shinra paused. "You don't mean that...Do you?"

Izaya's face fell. "I...I…" He struggled with himself, as Shinra nodded and came closer. "Leave!" _Don't leave me._

"I can't. Not until I do this." Izaya's eyes widened, as he watched him prepare the empty syringe. He would never tell this to anyone, but he was terrified of shots.

"N-No...I'm fine, right? I'm alive. That's all that matters. Right?" Shinra reached for him, but he shied away, backing up into the bed.

"No, Izaya. You know I have to run some more tests before I can let you just roam the streets again. And we have to set up a counselor for you." Izaya searched for his flickblade as Shinra grabbed his arm. He began to struggle violently.

"No! NO! Let me GO!" He screamed, kicking and pulling. "Please...Leave me alone." _Please don't leave me._

Shinra stared at him in awed fascination. "Izaya...You're not scared of shots...Are you?" Izaya blinked, rage gone, as he once again filled with self-loathing.

"N-No.." He looked away from the syringe as he said it, feeling sick. Shinra sighed and set down the needle.

"Izaya, it's only going to pinch a little bit."

"That's what everyone says." He protested, tears welling up in his eyes. "Please don't." He looked down, his self-hatred growing.

"Iza-" Shinra was cut off by Shizuo, who burst in through the door, skidding to a halt as he saw a teary-eyed Izaya. He glared at him.

"What do you want?" He growled. "Come to kill me when I can't fight back?" He stretched out on the bed. "Go ahead."

Shizuo was indeed holding a stop sign, but he dropped it, and Izaya couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment as he threw it away.

"What? Too scared?" He asked, watching as Shizuo's eyes flickered from his face, down to his hands, and to Shinra, who still held the syringe.

"Flea." He said. "What did you do?" Izaya's eyes flicked downwards.

"Nothing of your concern." Izaya replied. "Anyways, why are you even-" Suddenly, he sucked in a gasp, jerking to his right, away from Shinra.

"There we go." Smiled Shinra, who now held a syringe full of Izaya's red blood. Izaya glared at him.

"I will. But first I have to take some tests."

"Don't come near me!" Izaya started to struggle as Shinra started towards him, holding a syringe. _Yes. Come near me._

"Come on Izaya. You know that I need to. You don't want to die, do you?"

Izaya froze, tensing up. _I don't want to die._

"H-How do you know that?" He asked, trying desperately to put on his usual smirk. "Maybe I do."

Shinra paused. "You don't mean that...Do you?"

Izaya's face fell. "I...I…" He struggled with himself, as Shinra nodded and came closer. "Leave!" _Don't leave me._

"I can't. Not until I do this." Izaya's eyes widened, as he watched him prepare the empty syringe. He would never tell this to anyone, but he was terrified of shots.

"N-No...I'm fine, right? I'm alive. That's all that matters. Right?" Shinra reached for him, but he shied away, backing up into the bed.

"No, Izaya. You know I have to run some more tests before I can let you just roam the streets again. And we have to set up a counselor for you." Izaya searched for his flickblade as Shinra grabbed his arm. He began to struggle violently.

"No! NO! Let me GO!" He screamed, kicking and pulling. "Please...Leave me alone." _Please don't leave me._

Shinra stared at him in awed fascination. "Izaya...You're not scared of shots...Are you?" Izaya blinked, rage gone, as he once again filled with self-loathing.

"N-No.." He looked away from the syringe as he said it, feeling sick. Shinra sighed and set down the needle.

"Izaya, it's only going to pinch a little bit."

"That's what everyone says." He protested, tears welling up in his eyes. "Please don't." He looked down, his self-hatred growing.

"Iza-" Shinra was cut off by Shizuo, who burst in through the door, skidding to a halt as he saw a teary-eyed Izaya. He glared at him.

"What do you want?" He growled. "Come to kill me when I can't fight back?" He stretched out on the bed. "Go ahead."

Shizuo was indeed holding a stop sign, but he dropped it, and Izaya couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment as he threw it away.

"What? Too scared?" He asked, watching as Shizuo's eyes flickered from his face, down to his hands, and to Shinra, who still held the syringe.

"Flea." He said. "What did you do?" Izaya's eyes flicked downwards.

"Nothing of your concern." Izaya replied. "Anyways, why are you even-" Suddenly, he sucked in a gasp, jerking to his right, away from Shinra.

"There we go." Smiled Shinra, who now held a syringe full of Izaya's red blood. Izaya glared at him."Can I _go_ now?" He asked, pulling against the straps. Shinra shook his head.

"I'll let your hands go, but not your legs. You would run away." Izaya looked down and glared at his lap.

"Whatever." He said. Shinra carefully unlocked his arms go, and Izaya pulled them to him quickly. He rubbed his wrists lightly, wincing a little bit.

"You might not want to touch them for a little while." Said Shinra, grabbing his hand and pulling it away from his other wrist. Izaya sighed and nodded, leaning back onto the pillow. Shizuo watched in a stormy silence, getting angry for some reason. Shinra sat on a chair beside him, and gestured for Shizuo to do the same. Shizuo shook his head and leaned against a wall, watching Izaya.

"Well, Izaya, I think you know what I want to talk about." Shinra said. Izaya froze, and glanced at his knife on the table beside him.

"Well, obviously shots hurt, and I dislike people taking my blood, so-"

"Shut _up_ Flea!" Growled Shizuo. Izaya blinked and looked down, avoiding their eyes.

"Well...Then what do you want to talk about?" He asked, feigning innocence.

"I just want to know _why_ Izaya." Said Shinra. "Why? Why would you try to kill yourself?"

Izaya played with his fingers, getting anxious. "W-Well, because I wanted to of course."

Shinra sighed. "But you have so many people who care about-" Izaya's head snapped up, eyes flashing.

"No! No I don't! There is no one in this entire world who truly cares about me. So don't...fool yourself…" He said, trying his best to smirk at them, but failing miserably. Shizuo and Shinra gaped at him, looking surprised.

"Izaya-" Shinra started.

"I'm not human right? I'm nothing but a _flea_. So why care? I just wanted to _feel_ something, okay? Anything. Is that so wrong?" He asked. He shook his head when they said nothing. "You know what? I'm done with this." He reached over and grabbed his knife from the bedside table and slashed through the straps on his ankles.

"Izaya!" Cried Shinra, moving toward him. Next, Izaya slashed through the bandages on his arms. He showed them the scars.

"You see?" He growled. " _This_ is what I am." All across his arm were etched words- _Cruel. Evil. Sadistic. Non-Human._ And so on. Some were still leaking blood. Izaya smirked at Shizuo's shocked expression. "This is what I've been called. So it's the truth, right? Obviously." He swung his legs over the side of his bed and grabbed his coat, pulling it on, and staining some of the sleeves with blood.

"Izaya-" Said Shinra, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sit down." Izaya sent him a look full of malice, even though he was smiling.

"No." He stood up and started to take some wobbly steps toward the exit. "Well, it's been fun." He grinned, saluting them. He was at the door when his legs gave out on him and he collapsed onto the floor.

"Flea!" Cried Shizuo, moving in and catching him before he hit the hard tile.

"I'm fine." Izaya growled. He wriggled out of Shizuo's arms, and tried to stand up once more, but failed, ending up on the floor once again.

"No you're not." Said Shinra, dragging him back into the bed. "And I'm not letting you leave until I decide you can."

Izaya glared at him, but allowed the covers to be placed over him once again. "Is there any way I can get to stay in the comfort of my own home?" He asked, closing his eyes.

"If you can get someone who likes you enough to stay with you." Replied Shinra, sitting back in his seat. Izaya grimaced.

"So, no." He threw his arm across his face as he felt stinging in his eyes. Blood dripped onto his face, but he didn't care. "Why is everyone trying to take my control away from me?" He asked. "I didn't ask for anyone to be involved in this, so why are you? Why can't everyone just leave me alone." _Don't leave me._

 _Don't leave me._

 _Please don't leave me._


End file.
